Milk Bar, Get Over Yourself!
I’m so tired of Milk Bar. Yes, I’ll be the first to admit that I was completely consumed by the sheer novelty that Milk Bar virgins typically experience. I was brainwashed by the powers that be–David Chang and the Momofuku brand–to believe that their crazy pies, too-tall cakes, “compost” cookies, and rarely appealing soft serve flavors were futuristic; and therefore, delicious. This is no more the case. I’m a free woman!
Fine, there were some highlights in my romance with Milk Bar. There was that Horchata soft serve they had during the holidays, the chocolate malt cake, and the Salty Pistachio soft serve. But what else?
Crack Pie = nasty
Blueberry Cookie = tastes like vomit
Cereal Milk Milkshake = vomit, again
Cantaloupe Honey = decent vomit
Compost Cookie = what a nouveau cookie, but it’s the chocolate that does anything
Everything is too heavy and too cool for its own good. I always make a trip to Mud afterwards for some cleansing green tea. And can your counterpeople smile for a change? ADIOS!